A Prayer for a Pig
O hear me, Lord Warcraft-Equivilent-God-Figure-Whose- Name-I-Don’t-Know-Because-I’m-Too-Lazy-To-Learn- Any-Of-That-Lore-Stuff!
Please take care of my beloved boar, Orson. He knows not what he does. Most of the time.
Please guide his tusks true!
When he runs off and attacks some kobold that I didn’t see, please give him the mental alacrity to turn around and help me out when one of that kobold’s friends or a bear or something turns around and attacks me like out of nowhere.
Please grant him the strength of character to know how to behave in public!
Please make him not be so jealous!
I’m allowed to see other pigs. It’s not like a sub/dom thing, Orson, like what we have. No, really, it isn’t. Sometimes I need the company of other porcines. It’s not you, it’s me.
Please have him eat less!
Those thelsamar blood sausages were supposed to be for me! And that Darnassian bleu would have really hit the spot after that whole kobold/bear debacle.
Please give him better DPS!
I don’t want to have to get a cat or something.
And maybe better armor!
Turtles are cute and all but they kind of creep me out.
Please make certain that he does not see where I get his food!
I don’t think he’d want to know.