A Secret Santa Gift from Saresa, of Destructive Reach!
*Looks suspiciously around the room*
… Dagpep, do we have control? Ah, most excellent.
Folks, there has been a Christmas Coup. Phoenix has been, um… let’s just say ‘taken care of’. So, instead of well thought out, reasoned posts… you get subjected to my babble. Bahahaha!
*shuts closet where a figure can be seen…. restrained with wrapping paper and Christmas bows*
Now, I know you have been reading about all the shiny gifts Blizzard have been giving you. The Dungeon Finder, the Patch, the Core Hound… yes, yes, we should all be very grateful. Such wonderful presents! What great ideas! Someone at Blizzard must really love us. Or at least, that’s what Blizzard WANTS us to think!
Did it ever occur to you that Blizzard was just giving us these things to make us THINK they like us? Did you ever ponder what the real purpose of these gifts is? Sure, they have tossed us a couple of shinies – as a way to placate us while they sit there cackling while we work our butts off for the Merrymaker achievement! What on earth is so Merry about those darn gnome costumes? And dailies…. aren’t they more ‘pleasant’ when you have your faithful little Onyxia pet running by your side?
I think that there is some secret grand master plan to all of this. I strongly suspect that we are little hamsters, running on wheels of Blizzards design… powering some great secret ‘take over the world’ plot. All that gold we are generating. All that power we are using. It must all be going towards something. Well… I’m not going to be a part of it anymore!
That’s right! No more dailies! No more achievements! For Winter Veil, I am going to throw my Santa hat in the gears of their insufferable machine! I shall spend all my gold on Kungaloosh, sit around the middle of Dalaran, drink myself tipsy (since we all know Kungaloosh can’t get you drunk), and yell my conspiracy theories for all to hear!
That’s right… I’m bucking the Christmas tradition of hard work and grinding in exchange for good cheer and copious amounts of alcohol. And Blizzard can’t do anything about it!
Now… I should really give my succubus that little present I have wrapped up for her in the closet. She is going to love it! *cackles*
phoenix sez: This post is by Saresa, of Destructive Reach, (you can follow her on Twitter @saresa) and part of Saresa’s Secret Santa, a Kris Kringle series of posts among WoW community bloggers over at Blog Azeroth. Saresa herself was responsible for organizing it, so double props to her for writing, organizing, and managing to tie me up so tightly!
…and frankly, I can think of worse ways to spend the holidays than tied up with Saresa and her succubus. I mean really. Worse ways to go. With that, and the life being oh-so pleasurably (read: painfully) drained from my body by her great warlock-ness and her minion, we both wish you all the happiest of holidays!