Solo By Nature

I solo a lot, partially because it suits my playstyle, but partially because I’m not comfortable with people I don’t know. My partner teases me and says that I tend to treat WoW like a single-player game, which isn’t entirely true: I am in a raiding guild, and enjoy hanging out with the guys. I like the feel of “real life” around me, in terms of seeing other players and watching the ebb and flow of chat.

I’m admittedly not, however, comfortable with putting together PUGs or meeting new people in hopes of making friends to quest with. I recently moved two characters to a roleplaying server in hopes of being able to explore a different element of the game; everyone seems very pleasant, and I’ve had no bad experiences, but neither have I a) found a new guild, nor b) met people to group with or roleplay on a regular basis. And so I’m stuck there, without my old guild, my partner or anyone that I know to play with…I feel a bit like the new kid in school, standing around on the edge of the schoolyard.

I hate to admit it, but I’m just not a social butterfly. :(

This makes levelling very difficult – there are so many things that you can’t solo. I solo’d my main all the way to 60, and I did BRD, MC, etc., before I’d ever done Mauradon, Uldaman, ZF, etc. It’s a bit lonely, and quite frustrating at times. Does anyone else have these issues, or am I the only one out there who is so ill-suited to making online friends? I’m naturally averse to chatrooms and messaging, etc., and I suppose that aversion is carrying over to the game.

What’s a (shy) girl to do?

11 Comments so far

  1. ramanan (unregistered) on September 20th, 2006 @ 8:38 am

    I also find I play WoW very much like it’s a solo game. Every so often I’ll form a pick-up group to do a quest, but I usually put off quests that require a group till the last possible moment. I was in a guild which I quit because I found everyone in it obnoxious. The strange thing is, in real life I’m quite social.

  2. Burnside (unregistered) on September 20th, 2006 @ 9:08 am

    The way I made some of my best friends was from chance meetings. If somebody is in the same area that my wife and I were questing in, I’d ask them if they were doing my same quest, and if they were I’d invite them to our party and help them.

    When my wife and I were level 14 or so, we met a gnome mage leveling in Loch Modan. We invited him to our party, enjoyed chatting, and added him to our friends list. Ended up questing with him a lot more often. We then joined the same guild as him. Now we’re in a raiding guild working on the twin emps, still with the same gnome mage.

    You just have to take a chance on people. If they end up being dummies, don’t talk to them again. If they end up being cool, you have a potential new friend.

    FYI, We talk in RL sometimes now. He sent us a gift for our new baby even!

  3. phoenix (unregistered) on September 20th, 2006 @ 9:55 am

    Gotta admit, I do the same thing. I’ve pretty much given up any hope of raiding huge dungeons and such because I’m way too comfortable in my small, familial guild to join a massive raiding one or put up with PUGs where everyone’s “lol u suk” and “omg l2p,” I just can’t deal with that.

    Every now and again I’ll come across someone really cool, and I’ll try to remember to talk them up again sometime when I happen to see them on, but it’s few and far between. That and the fact that my guild is kind of small and there tend to be only a few of us, if any, on at the same time is kind of difficult. So yeah, I know where you’re coming from.

    or maybe I just need to reroll horde.

  4. Jonathan (unregistered) on September 20th, 2006 @ 11:27 pm

    Same here – solo all the way. As in life I just can’t do the whole talk to strangers thing (those warnings in school obviously worked – and buggered up my social life!)
    I was once bugged by someone wanting me to help them with a quest while I was busy and *he* put me on his ignore list because I wouldn’t! (And I was polite about it)
    I tend to help people I meet who are fighting, by healing or buffing them, or helping to down something if they’re losing, but I think I’ve only teamed up with someone twice for a single quest, and then it’s because they were polite and good humoured.

    Maybe I’m role-playing the aloof silent but good-hearted Paladin who rides in to the rescue then rides off into the sunset…

  5. Ravven (unregistered) on September 21st, 2006 @ 3:51 am

    I think part of it, the part relating to a reluctance to join PUGs, is definitely related to the lollertrons. If the quality of chat in LFG is anything to go by, I definitely want to have nothing to do with these people. :) That said, I’m sure there are tons of nice, normal, reasonably intelligent people out there…I just have a hard time trying to find them.

  6. John (unregistered) on September 21st, 2006 @ 6:35 am

    Almost exclusively solo also. It’s not so much because I’m shy, but because I find grouping slow, inconvenient, and unpredictable. The few times I did it was such a pain in the neck.

    The final straw that made me never want to group again was when I did an WC with my priest. I warned them before that I wasn’t use to grouping but they wanted a healer anyway. Well of course at the end of the instance I screwed up and got the whole group killed, and subsequently barraged with insults by one of the players.

    Another big problem I have is, I don’t like being pinned down for a huge block of time on one instance. I get kind of bored after a few hours.

    I love soloing, but yes it gets difficult especially around the mid levels. That’s probably why I have a dozen toons but none are higher than level 40.

  7. 5000! (unregistered) on September 21st, 2006 @ 1:20 pm

    I’ve been intending to post on the same subject. I solo pretty much all the time also, and most of the times I’ve tried to group up with random folks they turn out to be asshats. I don’t mind playing mostly alone, but it does get annoying to have my quest log fill up with (Dungeon) and (Elite) quests that I can’t solo. Thankfully, I’ve got guild members to help me out with most of the (Elite) stuff. At least, when they have the time.

  8. 5000! (unregistered) on September 21st, 2006 @ 1:23 pm

    Another big problem I have is, I don’t like being pinned down for a huge block of time on one instance. I get kind of bored after a few hours.

    Halle-frekaing-lujah! I’ve actually been invited to group for a few instances or had somebody offer to run me through one, but every time I ask how long it’s going to take the answer is like “No more than two hours, max.” Jesus christ. I can’t do commit to ANYTHING for a minimum of two hours without serious advance planning.

  9. Gambeson (unregistered) on September 21st, 2006 @ 4:45 pm

    I also spent a lot of my time soloing. I drifted in and out of guilds. Rarely joined instances. Took forever to get to 60.

    And then I found a raid group that fits my schedule. Every weekend I know where we are going to be, who I’m dealing with and about how long it will take. Now I even find myself grouped with the friends I’ve made on the weeknights, even if I’m only helping end an instance or grind a quest.

  10. raider (unregistered) on September 22nd, 2006 @ 12:43 pm

    Unfortunately if you want to play WoW, these are problems you will face everywhere, on every server. It is the nature of the game that you can solo pretty much all the way to 60, but to advance beyond and start doing high-end/end-game instances you will simply have to have friends who you can group with/you are comfortable grouping with. It is easier in a guild, but even without one you can still find folks. Is it easy? No. Will you end up with asshats? Yes. It is just the way WoW works, though. I personally went at it two ways:
    1. I started playing on a server that several of friends from RL were on
    2. Just keep trying until you find someone who you are happy grouping with.

    As to the time commitment, if you cannot commit to 2+ hours in the game without long notice, then you probably need to be in a raiding guild (even a casual raiding guild) that keeps a regular schedule and has a calendar so that you can plan your time.

    Again, somewhat that’s the nature of the game.

  11. Xoruka (unregistered) on September 25th, 2006 @ 8:27 am

    I can’t be locked down for hours at a time unless I have planned for it (like my guild does BWL/MC on Saturday nights). That is why my love for 45 min Baron runs knows no bounds. Even in a PUG, you skip the bullshit unless trash is in your way and your burninate your way to the Baron. It makes people get their head out of their asses long enough to get some shit done.

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