Just about everyone has heard of the Geneva Conventions, but not everyone knows that they’re actually four separate treaties detailing appropriate treatment and conditions for prisoners, wounded, enemy soliders, and others during a time of war. They are, by most accounts, the foundation of international law during wartime.

Now I’m not saying that we need to declare war on people with ridiculous character names, but I think a little guidance might be in order. So to that effect, I think I’ll dedicate my first post (Hi there!) to what I’ll call the First Convention of Character Naming:

1. Names with “pwn,” “lol,” “uber,” and other such forms of l337sp34k in them somewhere are only generally funny for the first 10 levels. After that they make everyone else laugh at you. Not with you, at you.

2. Naming your character “irtankgud” is all but a guarantee that other players will, in fact, assume you are not a good tank. Naming your rogue anything with “stab” in it automatically kills your cred. You’d better be good enough to offset your name.

3. Hunters: naming your pet something like “gonnabiteya” or “poisonlol” or “chompy” is a sure sign that you’re probably a Huntard.

4. Terribly spelled variations on characters from popular media (I’m looking at you, mister hunter named “Leegolass.” You too, warlock named “Sauronn.”) do not make you look cool, they make everyone else roll their eyes at you. Twists on those names however, can be hilarious. A warlock named “Harrydotter,” for example. That’s kinda funny.

5. Spec-based names are only entertaining if they’re ironic. Naming your druid “massivhealz” is only funny if you’re actually feral. My good friend Rettarded, for example, is a prot pally.

Seriously folks, the “randomize” button is there for a reason, and usually turns out something palatable if you’re desperate and resorting to naming your character after furniture in your room.

Yikes. When did I get so jaded?

Anyway, as with the actual Geneva Conventions, there’s more than one. Suffice to say I’ll revisit this topic. Maybe we need some conventions around other aspects of the game, too.